Selamat Ulang Tahun Bapak

Saya ingat setahun lalu pernah membaca  tulisan tentang Bapak di blog adik saya. Tepatnya setahun lebih sehari, karena Bapak saya berulangtahun kemarin. Yes, it's kinda late post. Dan sekali ini saya mau mencontek gaya adik saya bercerita, yang sialnya ditulis pakai bahasa inggris. Yowislah, tak apa. FYI, 'you' disini merujuk pada Ninis alias adik saya.

Talking about father. Just the same with you, I found this may sound ridiculous to those who have a warm relationship with their father. Quite unimportant too. But, this is us who know each other so well, though some people may think we are a pair of sentimental daughters. So, who cares.

That's all my prologue.

Yesterday actually was my father's birthday, and to be frank, I almost forget that special day. No. I'm just naturally forget because my day was truly distracted by exam. I congratulate him at 7 pm and I feel bad at him. The conversation between us by phone was like usual, flat and lack of expression. I wish him with all my best pray, health, wealth, and all sort of happines usually related. But I'm too shy to tell him directly. I wish I were there, gave him a proper birthday cake and birthday song. Then suddenly I realize that those things will be too awkward. You say that we posses lack-of-expressing-feeling-ability which is decreased from our parents. That's true. But I disagree that mine is better than yours.

I am a bit touched when read your lines:

"When i'm younger and still home, i realize my dad is the one reminds my mom to call my sister who was in college out of town.

When my mom gave me pocket money, he is the one who always gives me addition. Haha.

When i have to make any important decision, he never ever ever force me to do as he wants.

Up until know, he is the one who drives his spoiled princess-wannabe everywhere. 

(And even my mom passed away after he drop her off once. So you see that..)"

Then I totally agree with your another line (because I'm too lazy to write):

"I'm not close to him, i mean i never tell him about my crush, or hang out somewhere just two of us, and even a once a week phonecall with him. He never ask me how was my day and so I. And I envy those hugs my friends have with their fathers. I never get him to tell my sisters and I how he met my mom. I also never have him singing in my lifetime if you could imagine. We just talk about schools, foods, some unfunny jokes, family and relatives, TV shows, and other boring topics you would talk about with a stranger rather than the man who has been with you since you bloom in your mama's uterus."

Maybe just this little line didn't match us anymore since last year:

"I even never get into conflict with him..."

Once in my life, I saw him cry. First and there will never be the twice. I regret it much till now for those mistakes, making him sad like that. Though I can say that none of us was totally wrong, but our point of views were totally different indeed. Maybe this sounds like an excuse, but I don't feel like having my dad on my side, sharing what we actually feel. Then when the issue popped up like a thunder, was I wrong to react that harsh? Definitely I want to see him happy, just being disturbed by the inappropriate timing.

Even now, I haven't fixed up every details. Yes, we're look like getting along well. I try to compromise with all of he wants sincerely and he always fulfill all of our needs. We're just passing a hardship right now, and that's all. Stay strong and be blessed, Bapak! My only one angel left behind.

doodling ninis *diambil tanpa ijin dari blognya*